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Baby Blues (Chapter 1) Veronica/Logan R

Title: Baby Blues
Author: glasheen25
Characters/Pairings: Veronica/Logan
Word Count: 1739
Rating: R for language
Spoilers: none
Summary: Sequel to Natural Born Killer. Still trying to recover from the aftermath of her previous case, Veronica’s life is again thrown into turmoil when she receives some unwelcome news.



Pushing her way through the door of the doctor’s office, Veronica felt physically sick. A few hours ago, her biggest worry had been trying to decide if she should move back in with Logan Echolls and now they were going to be sharing a lot more than closet space, whether she liked it or not.

How the hell did this happen? Veronica considered wildly, her hand shaking as she grappled with her car keys and tried to open the door.

Things like this didn’t happen to someone like her.

Naive teenage girls, making out in the backs of their parents cars or drunk college students got ‘knocked up’ but not Veronica. She was a smart girl, an FBI agent no less, boasting a summa cum laude from Hearst and being pregnant was most definitely not part of the plan.

Fuck, fuck. fuck. Veronica cursed, panic threatening to overwhelm her as she sat motionless in her car. What the hell was she going to do?

The morning which had started off so glorious, was now threatening to break. Dark clouds shrouded what had previously been a vast sunny blue and the first of the rain was starting to spit down from above. Turning on the window wipers, Veronica pulled out from the car lot and drove down the street in no particular direction. Driving on the open road always made Veronica feel better, helped her clear her head and she was certainly in need of that now.

Swinging onto the highway, Veronica put her foot on the gas and felt a sudden surge of exhilaration as she overtook a black Lexus and took the next exit in the direction of Sunset Mall.

The pregnancy test was wrong. It had to be, Veronica decided in a sudden burst of optimism. What did one doctor’s test tell, anyway? Veronica would buy her own pregnancy test and she was certain that this test would show the required result.

A line. A cross. Whatever goddamn mark it would take to prove for once and for all that she wasn’t pregnant.

Wandering through the aisles of the drug store, Veronica gave a careful glance over her shoulder as she reached the shelves that boasted box after box of pregnancy test in varying shades of blue and pink. Gingerly reaching for a box that promised ninety-nine percent accuracy, Veronica hastily strode to the cashier and handed over a crisp twenty dollar note from her wallet. Shoving the change into her pocket, she wandered out of the store.

The restrooms were mercifully quiet as Veronica slipped into a stall and with shaking hands withdrew the pregnancy test from the crumpled paper bag.

Three minutes, the back of box promised. The longest three minutes Veronica was certain she would ever experience.

Turns out the test didn’t take three minutes. It didn’t even take one.

Placing the plastic stick on the top of the toilet, Veronica’s heart sank seeing the second red line starting to snake across the result panel.

There was no point denying it anymore; she was most definitely pregnant. The only question now was how she’d break the news to Logan.

--

Walking through the mall as though in a daze, Veronica somehow pulled herself enough together to buy a cup of coffee.

Driving anywhere was most definitely not an option now; Veronica being so distracted she was likely to crash into the first car she met the second she turned onto the highway.

Sliding into an empty booth, Veronica sipped the steaming drink slowly, her attention attracted by the sight of a young woman wandering into the coffee shop, a smiling toddler perched at her hip.

She was blonde like Veronica. Approximately the same age but that was where the similarities ended.

Her daughter clutched carefully in her arms, the woman made motherhood seem like the most natural thing in the world, the blonde girl squealing in delight as her mother tickled her playfully.

She seemed at home with the bottles and rattles and dolls that were strewn across their table, while Veronica was more comfortable with her gun and a blood soaked crime scene.

This is never going to work. Veronica resigned herself with a weary sigh, draining her cup of now cold coffee before heading outside.

Sitting into her car, Veronica lowered her head to the steering wheel and willed herself not to start crying. Taking a few deep breaths, she regained her composure before reaching into her pocket and taking out her cell phone.

First things first. Veronica wanted to feel normal again and that involved her going back immediately to work.

“Agent Mars,” Marilyn’s familiar voice came over the phone and Veronica took a deep breath to steady her voice before she replied. “How are you feeling? I trust the break away from the office is doing you good.”

“That’s actually why I’m calling you, Agent Hauser. I got the all-clear from the doctor this morning and she’s certified me as being fit to return to my full duties. I was hoping to start back in the morning, if you agreed.”

Veronica held a breath as she waited for Marilyn to reply.

“As long as you feel like you’re ready to return,” Marilyn answered, her concern evident in her voice. “You’ve been through a lot over the past few weeks and it’s important that you give yourself the time you need to recuperate both physically and mentally.”

“I’m fine, Agent Hauser, really.” Veronica replied defiantly, not willing to allow the unit director talk her into taking some extended sick leave.

“Well if you’re sure,” Marilyn replied reluctantly, and Veronica heaved a sigh of relief. “There’s a hell of a lot of paperwork that needs to be caught up with, so I’m sure Burke would appreciate the help. We’ll see you in the morning so.”

Sliding her cell phone shut, Veronica felt infinitely better. Even paperwork sounded a million times more appealing than the prospect of being alone in Logan’s apartment, left with nothing but her thoughts of the baby that was growing in her stomach and how that was going to change absolutely everything in her life.

--

Pulling in front of Logan’s apartment building, Veronica felt a little sick seeing her boyfriend’s car still parked outside. She’d hoped he’d be still in work and she could leave this conversation to later that day when she’d at least had a chance to absorb the bombshell Dr. Lavelle had just dropped on her.

Sliding her key into the lock, Veronica was just about to open the door, when Logan pulled it open for her, a wide smile on his face.

“Hey babe,” he greeted her, pulling Veronica into a warm hug which she accepted gratefully. “How did you get on with the doctor?”

“Good,” Veronica replied warily, pouring herself a glass of water and taking a seat at the kitchen table. “She cleared me to go back to work and Marilyn agreed I could start in the morning.”

“I thought you’d be happy about that,” Logan cut in concerned, recognizing that something was off in his girlfriend’s voice. “All you’ve been saying for the past few days is how desperate you are to get back to work. What gives?”

Veronica knew she could never lie to Logan but the impulse to keep the pregnancy from him for now, to allow herself a little more time to digest the news herself was almost overwhelming.

“Logan, the doctor said something,” Veronica began hesitantly, knowing she needed to tell Logan about the pregnancy before she had the chance to change her mind.

“What?” Logan demanded, his brown eyes meeting Veronica’s blue ones worriedly. “She said you were okay to start back at work, so what could possibly be wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Veronica explained quietly, not wanting to actually verbalize the fact that she was pregnant. Somehow, though rationally she knew it made no sense, if Logan didn’t know she pregnant, the whole thing might not be even real. Once she told him the news and they started talking about babies and doctor’s appointments, there would be no going back and Veronica wasn’t entirely certain she was ready to face that reality yet.

“Logan, I’m pregnant.”

There. She’d said it. There was no going back now.

“You’re pregnant?”

The shock in Logan’s tone, echoed exactly how Veronica was feeling, like she’d been run over with a truck. Multiple times.

“But you’re on the pill,” he continued, confusion in his brown eyes and Veronica could see he was struggling to make sense of the situation.

“It’s fucked up,” Veronica agreed, her voice shaking a little as she waited for Logan to reassure her that this would somehow turn out okay, that she hadn’t just fucked up both their lives. “But two pregnancy tests don’t lie, Logan. I’m definitely pregnant. The doctor thinks I might have thrown up one of the pills when I was sick.”

Pulling out a seat, Logan sat beside Veronica and took her hand. “How do you feel about this whole thing?”

Shrugging, Veronica stubbornly wiped away the few tears that escaped down her cheek before she forced herself to meet Logan’s searching gaze.

“Logan there are no words to describe what I’m feeling right now. When I think of babies, I think of being married, of living in a house with a garden and being at least ten years older. Actually, that’s a lie. I don’t even think that because I can’t imagine myself ever having a baby. Babies and the FBI don’t mix well, Logan. This is a freaking disaster,” she finished with a sigh, lowering her face onto her hands and giving into the sobs that wracked her body.

“It will be okay, Veronica,” Logan murmured softly, though his voice displayed none of the confidence of his words. “We will get through this. I promise.”

--